KITSCH OR KILL: Fried Eggs, Fried Eggs, Gotta Get Me Some Fried Eggs.

My co-worker Kim just abused me for not posting for a while. Meanwhile she's wearing a pastel jumper knotted around her shoulders like some kind of 1980s US college boy/tennis player. Who's the wanker now, Kimmy? The answer, my friend, is YOU.

So this post is dedicated to Captain Kimbot and all o' y'all wankers out there! Let's play click the links cos it's Friday and you wanna waste time and look at stupid stuff yaaaaaaay!

Spirit Hoods. Just buy one. You know you want to. They're cute, they're practical (super warm and triple threat of beany, scarf and mittens in one), and they make drunk teenagers scream in excitement and chase you down the street when you wave at them from your brother's car. Cos the little drunk fucks think they just saw a snow leopard making wavy paws at them. Yes they have paw prints on the hands! CUUUUUTE.

Follow me on Twitter, twits. I need the attention or I might start cutting myself or grow an emo fringe or join a band or something. Warning: I am really boring on there, maybe you can teach me something? Like, the point of it?

Dontcha wish sometimes that you were born in an Amazonian tribe and life was just goddamn simple? Hunting, making fire, dancing and singing, building awesome huts? Bliss.

Peter Falk died? Fuck Columbo, he was the grandpa from The Princess Bride!! Let's all get together and watch that movie again sometime. Just because it's amazing. And has Andre The Giant in it. And Cary Elwes when he was still hot. And it makes you yell "In-con-CEIVABLE!" at people with a bad lisp.

Damn but I love me some Faces of Meth. It's really tragic that these people have ruined their lives with drugs, but the pre and post addiction pics are awesome. Some of their faces have almost literally melted, others will make you cackle, others still will give you nightmares.

I spent hours going whaaaaaat? over this Wikipedia page the other day. Weird deaths, avoid if easily grossed out. And for the love of God, don't Google Image any pics like I did. I know I don't want to see pictures of young girls severely dismembered in car accidents, but my brain goes LOOOOK, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO LOOOOOK....then go go Google fingers! Immediate regret ensues.

And ok if you looked at the last link, Awkward Family Pet Photos will make you feel better. Though not necessarily more faithful of mankind's ability to be intelligent.

On the topic of pets, this is so goddamn cute. And heartwarming. And all the good crap we love about animals.

On a slightly melancholy note, today would have been the 50th birthday of the lovely Princess Diana. Happy birthday, pretty lady. Apologies for Charles being a bit of a knob and larking off with a giant chin on legs, but if you never married him, the world may never have known your kind-heartedness.

Here's a young Di with a guinea pig. Just cos. The rule is, you gotta make a guinea pig sound while you look at the pic. Eee eee eee!