Friday Fluff and Fuckery

Look, I said fluff, not fluffer, ok? Get your minds out of the gutter, it's time to waste some time!

You can totally willingly remove organs and sell them for stuff you want! That's why so many body parts come in twos!

The Lottery, a short story from 1948 by Shirley Jackson. Absolutely chilling account of blasé human cruelty, it blew people's minds to the point where she got hate mail for years, as well as people asking where these lotteries were held and if they could go watch. Conclusion? Humans are fucked.

It occurred to me the other night, watching The City, that Olivia Palermo is a plastic dead-eyed zombie who scares the living hell out of me and I would probably accidentally bludgeon her with a shovel if she came at me on the street, so convinced am I that she is a very well-groomed member of the undead army, or some kind of shark.

Look at those dead eyes! She's planning to eat your brain and steal your wardrobe.

Michael Bolton redeems himself for How Am I Supposed To Live Without You and that bad 80s fluffy hairdo, proving he may have some shades of awesome.  But for some reason when I hear this, I keep singing How Do I Get You Alone by Heart. Who rule, by the way. Until they released that horrible late 80s soft porn song, All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You. PLAH.
THIS is Heart at their most awesome.

Damn those Wilson sisters were hot. And did you know Nancy (the blonde one) wrote the tunes sung by Stillwater in Almost Famous? And had a bit part in Fast Times At Ridgmont High? And that I'm full of useless information?

Vote for this guy in the Make Me The Next Top Model comp. He's everything a model isn't, and he's currently in the lead! And if he won, not only would that be AMAZING, but all the snobby model casting knobs would have to cop it and let the fat man catwalk, baby!

Dr Cliff Huxtable's mother died! Goddamn I used to want that woman to be my grandmother when I was a kid, she had awesome nanna moxy, and took no shit. On a happier Cosby Show note...an ode to their artful sweaters.

They've made a prequel to The Thing, one of THE BEST AND SCARIEST movies of all time. It's not a remake, yaaaaay! It has a girl in it where the original was an all-male cast, yaaaaay! That girl is the super-cool Mary Elizabeth Winstead from Scott Pilgrim and Death Proof, yaaaaay! Hopefully they will honour the original and lead some youngsters to its amazing-ness. And hopefully MacReady re-appears in the world's best hat (which I couldn't find a picture of, no matter how hard I googled. If you haven't seen the world's best hat, you really need to watch the movie. If you're a horror fan or thought Kurt Russell was even remotely sexy in the 80s, you will not be disappointed.)

Kurt Russell at his best and hairiest as MacReady, with the hat hiding behind him.

Seriously, if the powers that be ever get their hands on my IMDB movies list, they are gonna haul my ass to Guatanamo for being a serial killer of children. Every movie on there is either uber-horror or glittery childhood wonder, from The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth through to Salo and Cannibal Holocaust. They better not look at my bookshelf either...Stephen King, Bret Easton Ellis and Virginia Andrews reign supreme. I'm not giving you a link cos you will totes dob me in for being psychotic.

Speaking of Stephen, they're re-releasing IT (the book, not the movie). Made me crap my fucking dacks like not many books can. The image of that goddamn clown, all red lips and giant teeth, lurking down the drain. Eeeeeeeeeeeek. You wanna buy me presents? Make them of the Stephen King variety. He is MY FAVOURITE EVERRRRR.

What in the hell is The Koton? I thought it was a brand of feminine hygiene products, but it looks like some form of devil worship. Some may argue they're the same thing.

Prepare for ZOMBIESSSSSSSS. I am so ready for the takeover. Olivia Palermo, I got my shovel right here for ya, honey child.

I just googled Olivia Palermo zombie and this is what I got. She has her teeth ready to eat your fashion brainsssss.

And here's an awesome picture, just for fun. If it doesn't make you wanna shag and/or dress up as Shera, Rainbow Brite or Strawberry Shortcake, there's something wrong with you. Happy Friday, folks!