They're Alive....Alive!

A friend magically scored free tickets to see Walking With Dinosaurs - The Arena Spectacular last night, and I was lucky enough to be invited along. Thanks Nathan!

Let me just start by saying, IT WAS AMAZING. If you get a chance to see it, do it. Do it, I tell you. You will be bedazzled. A fondness for dinosaurs does help. And taking children with you. The adults reacted well, but the kids had their minds completely blown, squealing and waving glowing disco dinosaur merchandise. I would have squealed and waved glowing crap too, if the line for glowing crap wasn't so long. I probably did squeal. I was VERY excited.

I freaking loved dinosaurs as a kid. I had books, I had figurines; I even had a freaking walking, roaring dinosaur model that used to scare the living shit out of my cats. Wait, I don't think that was mine. Somebody must have let me fuck around with it a lot though.

I arrived late to the show, which sucked cos I really wanted to be there for the atmosphere of "WHOA!" that must have engulfed the place when the first dinosaur walked out. Yes, walked. I'm talking LIFE-SIZED, ANIMAFUCKINGTRONIC dinosaurs, people. Have you ever seen a goddamn giant Brachiosaurus walking around? NO. You haven't, because you haven't seen this show. Watching Jurassic Park does not cut it. If you have any interest in dinosaurs whatsoever, this is the closest you'll get to seeing a real one, unless I have severely underestimated the powers of genetic science.

So I arrived late, did the squeeze-and-apologise to those already seated, sat down and started clapping and grinning like an idiot at the dinosaurs. And continued to do so for the rest of the show. The partly-robotic, partly-puppeteered creatures were so vast in size, so detailed in feature, that I had a hard time convincing myself they WEREN'T real. I sat mesmerised, drop-jawed and yelling, "YAAAY!" whenever a new dinosaur came out. When they lumbered over our way and eyeballed the crowd, I resisted a strong urge to wave and yell, "Oh, hiiii! Over here Mr Dinosaur!" At one point there was a smackdown between two Torosaurus' (Torosauri?), I thought the old one was gonna die, and I whimpered and prepared myself for tears. I totally got involved. My friend leaned over when and said, "Um, you are aware that all dinosaurs are dead now?" No Nick. No. Right now I'm not at all aware they're dead, because THERES A BUNCH OF THEM RIGHT THERE OHMYGODDINOSAURS!

And you know when you go to a music festival or somesuch, and you watch all the smaller, kinda cool bands, but you're really just waiting for the headline act? The Tyrannosaurus Rex was the the power puppy of the dinosaurs, and when the Big Mamma T-Rex hit the stage, people flipped their fucking lids.

(I know this video is sideways but tilting your head slightly won't kill you. If you know how to rotate the vid, please let me know)

Let me tell you, people shrieked and clapped like she was a freaking rock star. And when she roared, OHHHH MY FUCKIN LORD. The whole place rumbled and more than one person was convinced they would be eaten.

Here's a video of Raptors that's the right way up for all you peeps that now have jarred necks from over-tilt.

Go and see them. It's aimed at kids so is a little patronising, but if you indulge your Inner Child, they will fucking love it. And may just squeal, clap and whimper idiotically like mine did. Here's a linkety link to bookety book tickets. And you might be able to get cut-price tickets here. See how I'm looking out for your interests?

It's only on in Melbourne til the 15th of May so grab every child you see and get the hell down there, buy some glowy shit and squeal squeal squeal! Cos dinosaurs rule!


PS Major kudos to the older ladies sitting in our row who giggled hysterically at some blow-up grass prop that popped up emphatically in front of us, rather like a bizarre sex toy. It was delightful.

PPS I wonder if any Creationists have been to see the show, and if it conflicted their souls? Ohhh, but that's right, dinosaurs are "God's little jest", a wild goose chase leading to carefully planted "fossils" he conveniently buried when he was busting out on building stuff. Good one, God!