Live Below The Line - Dia Tres

OK so I missed posting this last night as I was at a friend's place, watching people eat yummy yumbos for dinner, drinking wine and eating random chocolate goodness while I pretended I didn't feel deprived. Luckily, I was mostly distracted by the television in the room broadcasting Glee's equally shit-hot and traumatising overhaul of Fleetwood Mac's Rumours. Yaaaay Glee!

As I don't have a working antenna at home, I haven't had TV for nearly two years and any exposure to it at other peoples' houses turns me into a drooling zombie that goes GAAAAAAAHHHHH and points at the pretty swirling colours in the magic talking box. I miss TV. I miss my mind-numbing, loneliness-destroying electronic mother/teacher/best friend and I hope that stoopid antenna man comes and risks his life on my roof soon so I can have some goddamn moving pictures action! I want to be able to pass judgement on Masterchef and Dancing With The Stars like all the other zombies.

But, damn, am I glad I haven't had TV this week! I was never aware until now that the reason why there are so many fat motherfuckers in this world is not only because of ruined childhood self-esteem, but because EVERY SECOND ADVERTISEMENT IS ABOUT FOOD. I kid you not. When not being hammered with cooking shows, which are like the devil when you're hungry, you are utterly bombarded with bright shiny-shiny colourful tasty-looking food food FOOD. Fuck you, television. You are a nasty mama.

I even watched a show about a super-fat woman trying to lose weight and this STILL made me hungry. Watching morbidly obese people eat usually makes me feel ill and depressed and all "oh, the humanity!", like watching someone huffing on a paint can, but all her cramming her face with calories made me crave chocolate and chicken wings HARD.

I am forlorn.
Oh, and I'm so delirious and craving stupid foods like a pregnant lady that I actually contemplated bulimia as a good way of doing this challenge cos I'd still get the tasty goodness without actually breaking the $2 budget. Ummmm, no Elisha. No. Look to Maria Conchita Alonso for reasons why bulimia is baaaaaad (and why "it's hard to be bulimic when you're Cuban")


Maria


Conchita



ALONSO!


PS To the lovely Ashley, who is bringing me an abundance of donuts this Saturday ("BRING ME ALL THE DONUTS ASHLEY"), -- hearts and salutes, love, hugs and strawberry shortcakes! We shall dine in splendour my friend, on every donut we see. Until we barf a sea of donut slime, as promised.

Although the bastard did just email me this:

Damn you Ash! You must redeem yourself with at least 5 varieties on donut come Saturday!