Horror Movies Fuck Up My Yoga

I have been thriving on French horror movies lately. I am a horror movie freak; I am obsessed with them. I blame my mother for this entirely; she loves them too and had me fascinated by the idea of blood and gore at a young age. She used to take me to the super-creepy Video Crossroads store where I would inevitably wander away from the Kids' section and into Horror, where Mum was choosing her latest gore-fest.

I would stare at the horrifically awesome covers, goggling my innocent eyes at the plethora of leering killers, alien spawn and slimy freaks that stared back. I always made sure I stood in the exact middle of the aisles so those fuckers couldn't touch me; I know if I move slightly THEY WILL JUMP OUT AND TOUCH ME GODDAMMIT! (This logic still applies today).

Lesson One in horror: scaring the shit out of yourself is FUN.

Even just the word crossroads freaks me out to this day. Partly because of this store, and partly because it used to be painted in massive letters with a fucked up skull and crossbones on the road we took to my Aunt and Uncle's house in Melton to warn drivers. Melton is scary enough without that shit painted on the road, people!

ANYWAYS, I digress. This week I watched Haute Tension (stupidly renamed Switchblade Romance for English distribution, even though the title obviously translates to High Tension, duhhhhh). I was busting to watch it as I've been looking for it for over a year with no luck, and had just found a copy with English subtitles. Cos over-dubbing usually sucks ass. Unless you're one of those "I don't wanna watch a movie AND read" kinda people. In which case, don't come to my house. You shit me.

Sooooo, one of the best features of the movie is the uber-hellish eerie music that echoes throughout. There are long periods without any dialogue, so the really music sticks with you. It's kind of like a low humming sound with some odd screeches and high frequencies that resonate in your gut. Combine this with full-on gore, two girls being hunted by a madman and a crazy creepy twist and you've got one fantastic, shit-scary movie. I LOVED IT.

Cut to yoga class the next day. We're busting some crazy move that the new teacher has introduced, and I suddenly realise the low, "calming" music that's playing sounds almost identical to the uber-hellish eerie soundtrack from the night before. Suddenly, I'm pretty terrified. I'm trying to balance upside down and breaking out in hot sweats. I'm torn between impressing people with my flexi-skillz and passing out from fear that a killer is lurking in the bushes outside. I'm twitchy and can't focus well any more.

Haute Tension, I love you but you fucked up my yoga mojo.

And now that christing music is in my head again. Eeeeeeeek!